lol ooc

State of the Muse

Hello to anyone still aware this journal still exists! 

This is my attempt to bring my muse back to life.  I removed Andy from current history and retagged all the posts as being retired.  This post serves as the divider between retired junk and the new direction I want to take this character.  I also might go revisit key episodes like 'Purgatory' and 'Untethered' and redo my responses for them, since they'll have changed with Goren in a world without Andy.  And since VDO is leaving Criminal Intent after next Tuesday, I'll have (hopefully) an open-ended post series path to go down.  But that depends if Goren gets his ass fired or not.

State of the Muse

This started out as a hiatus post and a post about retiring a verse and some storylines/plots, but as I started looking though to see what I could salvage, I realized every single prompt I had written was related to the verse and the character that's being retired.

I realized I need to start over, completely from scratch.  So, as of right now, this journal is retired.

I'm going to be notifying the prompt comms I still belong to, leaving the ones that are dead, and switching over to an old journal I haven't touched in a year.  I'm going to completely reset Goren and he will be strictly canon.  Don't expect too much because I have to completely change how I look at him and how I think about him and how he in my head thinks.  If you'd like to come along for the ride and want to stay on Goren's flist, add robertgoren.  Any RP relationships will be severed and any muses he knew will be strangers to him.  If you want to work something out regarding your muse, please let me know and I'll see what we can do.

Hopefully this isn't the death knell.


A Light

It's hard to believe Grace is nearly a year old already.  Her first birthday is on Sunday.  She walks all over the place and has a whole slew of teeth.  And she never stops smiling... er, except in the photo I picked.

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    good good

State of the Muse

Okay, so we were just given a buttload of canon tonight.  We were shown more of Goren's house (yes, it's either a house or a walk-up) and his kitchen won't be on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens any time soon.  It screams bachelor (no real surprise) but obviously goes in the face of what I have established here in [verse] domestic bliss.  We were also given a location: Greenpoint, Brooklyn.  So, for [verse] domestic bliss, we're going to stick with the brownstone aspect, but keep it in the East Village as established here.  [verse] canon will stay with canon.

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So, I'm looking for some new projects.  Bored art school grad is bored.  If anyone on my flist wants a header/banner or a layout, comment here.  When you comment, give me as many specifics as you can and if you have a hard to find PB, leave me some links to some (if possible, hi-res) photos.
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    L&O: SVU
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Snagged from around

Mun meme!

1. Who are you?
2. Yay! How long have we been RPing together?
3. What was your first impression about our Rps? (i.e., were you nervous, intimidated, disappointed, impressed, amused, annoyed?)
4. First characters we played together?
5. Most amusing scene from one of our Rps?
6. Most depressing?
7. Sappiest/most romantic?
8. Cutest couple from our Rps?
9. Cutest friends?
10. What's your favorite character that I play? Why?
11. Least favorite? Why?
12. Something you'd like to RP/see happen in an RP with me at some point (no matter how random!)?
13. Name a song that reminds you of one of our couples/one of my characters and why you chose it.
14. Anything in particular that makes my style of RPing stand out from others'?
15. Anything I could improve on?
16. Character of mine you'd like to see more of?

x-posted to animus_nocendi and kaydee_did 
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muse_academy [Week Four] Muse Inquiries - Vice

Muse Inquiries – Week Four - Vice

1. Does your muse indulge in any vice? Are there several?
There are two.  He smokes on occasion which is really more of a nervous habit than anything else.  He does it because he needs something to do with his hands.  There's something about sucking on a cancer stick that he finds relaxing.  The other vice he indulges in is alcohol, but he takes that to a completely different level: he's an alcoholic.

2. Is your muse addicted to any vice, physically or psychologically?
The definition of alcoholism says it's an addiction, but it's also been called a disease.  He's not so far gone that he starts his morning with a mug of coffee-flavored whiskey, but there is a certain amount of psychological addiction.

3. How far would they go to have their desired vice?
Recently, within the last couple months, he's begun to lie about where he is when he's out late.  He claims he's working late but it's usually that he got off work earlier and went to a bar.  When he gets home, it's obvious what he was doing, but his girlfriend doesn't ask anymore.  He's also started buying small bottles of alcohol again and finding new places to stash them in the apartment.  It's not an everyday thing, though, so he's not to the point where he'd break your arm just for a drink.
4. Do they engage in illegal types of vice? If so, do they suffer consequences?
Everything he does is completely legal.

5. Do their vices create problems in their interpersonal relationships? Have their loved ones tried to get them to quit?
His drinking problem is the only thing that causes problems with his closest personal relationships.  His friends don't know about it and neither does his partner, but they all suspect something.  Last summer, he ran into lieu_murphy while drunk and alienated her completely; they've been at odds ever since, but they never got along well to start with. 

His relationship with his girlfriend is the most rocky.  She's tried to get him to quit before, but she also plays the part of The Provoker: endures and accepts broken promises; hurt and upset by repeated episodes; always outwitted and undermined; keeps like going but displays bitterness, resentment, hurt, and fear; controls, forces, sacrifices, and adjusts but never gives up; does not want to fail him, adjusts to all the crises; never knows what to say without adding guilt and bitterness; never carries out the threat to leave.  She's his biggest supporter but also his main source of guilt.  He drinks and they fight which makes him turn around and drink to cope with the fighting.

6. Is the vice realistic, given the background, socio-economic status and stature of the muse? Be honest. For example, do you have a broke, blue collar muse indulging in high class call girls and Cristal, while snorting pure cocaine? Or is he drinking beer, getting a corner streetwalker and smoking crack?
Cops have some of the highest rates of depression, alcoholism, and suicide in the country, so I'd say it's very appropriate.

7. Has your muse ever kicked a vice? How did you write and play that?
He can go a few months being sober but something will happen and he'll relapse.  He gets these sparks of determination and will go cold turkey, which works, until like I said, something happens.  When he's on the wagon, I write him as having the longing and the cravings but thinking of his family in order to motivate himself to behave.  If he's not feeling like he wants to slit his own throat, he can usually do well.

8. What triggers a craving for the vice? Is it something they indulge in for sexual gratification or out of depression? How does that hunger begin?
He drinks purely out of depression.  Even when he's on the wagon, just the sight of a liquor store will be enough to start the cravings.  The liquor store plants a seed in his head, a suggestion of what he could be doing instead and given his general state of depression, it feels like a really good idea.  The cravings nag at him and, depending on the day, he either indulges them or forces himself to surround himself with things or people that can distract him and make him feel better, i.e. his family.  The end result is usually the former, though.  If it's a bad day and he's deep in his depression, he does it without thinking.

9. What damage does the vice do to their physical being? What damage SHOULD it do?
Obviously, his liver is starting to really hate him.  The rest of his physical condition is symptoms of a greater issue.  He's out of shape, tired all the time, and just generally "gray".  He's had more than a few mornings where he's woken up still drunk or completely hungover, and both situations he feels like death rolled over.  He's also had a handful of nights spent on the bathroom floor, too.

10. Link to a fic or roleplay thread that shows your character indulging in a vice, and talk about how that came to play out.
This is the only fic I have where he's actively engaging in his chosen vice.  All the rest with the [storyline] alcoholism tag are about what happens after he's been drinking.  The post I linked to actually was the end of one of his binge.  It was him reaching the bottom of one of many holes.  It lead to being able to reconcile with his girlfriend and starting back in therapy.  Needless to say, it didn't last long because the shows writer's threw more crap at him.

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    Countdown with Keith Olbermann - MSNBC

muse_academy [Application] Sleep

I should be asleep.  It's almost three in the morning and I'm still awake.  This is nothing new.  I've gotten used to being awake in the wee small hours. 

'It's because we have a new baby,' she says.  No, that isn't it.  'It's because work keeps you late,' she says, but no, that isn't it, either.  Eames; she gets it right, but she doesn't say anything to me.  She knows I don't want to sleep.  She knows it's a conscious choice to stay awake during the wee small hours.

She's been here, in this dark place, lost amongst the emotional shadows and the shapes thrown on the walls by the city's lights.  She knows what it's like to relive and remember every time you close your eyes.  Every time I close my eyes, I'm in Heaven--not walking with angels but lying with the devil's advocates. 

I stay awake to avoid.  But I always succumb and the nightmares are always there, lurking on the edges of my consciousness, waiting for me like a predator waits for its dinner.  So while I'm tossing and turning and tangling in the blankets, my nightmares are getting fat.

Word count: 195