First things first.
The emo? Please make it stop.
Now that that's been said, I can move on to other things. I'm incredibly thankful for you giving me a voice. I've seen some of the other versions of me and I'm glad you bring some balance to the fandom. Remember the version of me who "succumbed" to a whole host of psychological problems landing me in an institution after having knocked up my partner? Yeah. Bad. Not to mention all the other versions of me who've been perverted by teenage fantasies. Thank you for not insisting Eames and I have anything more than a casual friendship. Trusting her with my life is not the same as wanting to dance the horizontal tango so uh, thank you for recognizing that.
Also, thank you for not making me sound like an idiot. There's a difference between grabbing a thesaurus to find the synonym for angry that has the most letters and actually knowing how to use that word. You at least know having a college education doesn't equate to sounding like a pretentious WASP or a teenager who's just memorized a thesaurus. And another thing-- thank you for not making my speech patterns resemble that of a savant with a stuttering problem.
You are not perfect, though. Don't let my praise go to your head. You need to bring some of my more unique traits out in your writing. For instance, when I'm thinking about something, I need to finish the thought out loud. I know you do that yourself so how about you let me do it? Also, you've let me get soft and before you suggest it, I'm not talking about a need for Viagra. I need you to let me be more ruthless in my pursuits. My "unrelenting pursuit of evil"? Right. That. Bring it back. The other thing that needs to come back is my dorkiness. I know you love it, so... where is it? I guess I can only partially blame you for this since you have to work with what Dick Wolf gives you.
So, about the emo I mentioned earlier. Please, no more crying. I've only done it a couple times this year, but that's a couple too many. But girls are more emotional! Too bad, Kris, because as you've noticed, I'm more of an 'internalize my problems' kind of guy. So you want to see if you can still feel? Alright, fine, but do it so that I'm not ending a conversation with the girlfriend as a complete emotional wreck. Yes, I realize I'm drawing a lot of this from that other community you write for me at, but that's only because you've taken your sweet time in establishing a storyline for me here. You have a tendency to abuse your characters because... either you're bored or you have some literary form of masochism, but quite possibly both. Even though you turned me into a drunk after my mom died, I want to commend you on how you're handling it. It's had lasting repercussions on my characterization and most writers would have forgotten and/or chosen to do away with it once it was no longer interesting to them. It's believable for the most part. Now, if I could just get you to keep me from feeling so much, I'd be pleased. I mean, come on, Kris, I'm not a sixteen-year-old high school student! Neither are you. Alright, so Dick Wolf is partly to blame for this too, but please don't indulge him. If this keeps up, I'll need to let my hair grow out so I can comb it in front of my eyes. Although, it's probably too gray.
Oh, and please don't let me have any doughnuts.
Law and Order: CIWords: